Baby Fever. *sigh*

I don't think that I've mentioned this on here yet, but I have just recently started paying attention to my poor little blog. I am wanting to have another baby. Yes, yes, yes, I know that I said after I had my son that I didn't want anymore children. & for a while, I didn't. And after all these feelings that I was pushing off to the side, all the baby pictures that I see people posting o Facebook that make my heart hurt, & feeling that ache to hold a small, precious little baby in my arms once again after seeing TONS of fresh babies all over when I go to the grocery store, thie final sign finally came for me: My doctor in Tennessee had messed up on my perscription for my birth control shot & I couldn't get them to fix it. They had written me 11 refills for a shot I only take once every 3 months, but they had somehow made it expire in December with 9 refills still on the script. I no longer have insurance. When we moved to Alabama I lost my TennCare. I, for some reason, do not qualify for insurance down here. (Gay, I know.) The doctor said she could write me another script, but I would have to come in to the office in Tennessee (about an hour away) for a pap, & with no insurance, I would have to pay for the appointment, the exam, & then the shot itself. No thank you. So I finally decided that I will finally grow a pair, & tell Chase that I want another baby.

It went surprisingly well. I thought he would yell, scream, thrash about like a fish out of water. But he just looked at me & said: Ok.

Needless to say, this left me in a state of shock. All these years, he was more stubborn than I was. NO MORE BABIES. All of a sudden he just says ok??? Seriously, where is my boyfriend & what have you done to him? Not that I am upset about his answer. It was what I was hoping to hear, Just not what I was expecting to hear. Though, upon further discussion about it, he doesn't want to have one right away. I, on the other hand, can't wait. So I guess you could say, we aren't actually trying, but we aren't preventing either.

I keep having dreams about babies. & I'm not sure if that's normal when you catch this baby fever that I just cannot get rid of. These dreams go from very normal, almost real feeling dreams, to crazy, off the wall, oh my god...what is going on inside my head, dreams. 'm hoping that once we do concieve, that these dreams will go away.