Baby Fever. *sigh*

I don't think that I've mentioned this on here yet, but I have just recently started paying attention to my poor little blog. I am wanting to have another baby. Yes, yes, yes, I know that I said after I had my son that I didn't want anymore children. & for a while, I didn't. And after all these feelings that I was pushing off to the side, all the baby pictures that I see people posting o Facebook that make my heart hurt, & feeling that ache to hold a small, precious little baby in my arms once again after seeing TONS of fresh babies all over when I go to the grocery store, thie final sign finally came for me: My doctor in Tennessee had messed up on my perscription for my birth control shot & I couldn't get them to fix it. They had written me 11 refills for a shot I only take once every 3 months, but they had somehow made it expire in December with 9 refills still on the script. I no longer have insurance. When we moved to Alabama I lost my TennCare. I, for some reason, do not qualify for insurance down here. (Gay, I know.) The doctor said she could write me another script, but I would have to come in to the office in Tennessee (about an hour away) for a pap, & with no insurance, I would have to pay for the appointment, the exam, & then the shot itself. No thank you. So I finally decided that I will finally grow a pair, & tell Chase that I want another baby.

It went surprisingly well. I thought he would yell, scream, thrash about like a fish out of water. But he just looked at me & said: Ok.

Needless to say, this left me in a state of shock. All these years, he was more stubborn than I was. NO MORE BABIES. All of a sudden he just says ok??? Seriously, where is my boyfriend & what have you done to him? Not that I am upset about his answer. It was what I was hoping to hear, Just not what I was expecting to hear. Though, upon further discussion about it, he doesn't want to have one right away. I, on the other hand, can't wait. So I guess you could say, we aren't actually trying, but we aren't preventing either.

I keep having dreams about babies. & I'm not sure if that's normal when you catch this baby fever that I just cannot get rid of. These dreams go from very normal, almost real feeling dreams, to crazy, off the wall, oh my god...what is going on inside my head, dreams. 'm hoping that once we do concieve, that these dreams will go away.

We Got A Bunny!!!!

Ok, I cannot believe that I haven't posted this yet. We got a baby bunny rabbit April 12th. I remember the exact date because it was the day before Chase's birthday.

Anywho, I named him Atticus. Yes, for those of you who are well read, I named him after the father from To Kill A Mockingbird. He is such a good little bunny. He's already so much bigger than whne we first got him. He's a mixed breed, so i don't know exactly how big he's gonna get. He has some dwarf rabbit in him, but the breeder that I talked to couldn't say for sure what else he had in him without actually seeing him. ( I had emailed her some pictures.)

He now does this thing with his ears that Chase calls "getting reception". He keeps one straight up & the other flopped down. & I have learned that rabbits, like people, have different likes & dislikes. My aunt, upon learning I was getting Atticus, was full of valuable information on how to care for him & what kinds of foods they love. She had rabbits her whole life & had one for almost 10 years. She had menitoned her rabbits love for bananas, & I was so excited to get to the store & get him some bananas. Well, he loved apples, loved carrots, & LOVE LOVE LOVED lettuce. But bananas??? He HATED them!!! He took a few bites of it & then wouldn't go near it again. & when I had tried to make him take another taste, he would shake his head in such a way that he seemed to be saying to me: "GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!!!!!"

As with any new pet, you want to get all this stuff for them. & after we got is settled in to his cage & used to his surroundings, I eagerly jumped onto PetSmart.com & ordered him a Timothy Hay Tunnel, which is basically just a tunnel made out of dried grass. He climbs all over it & chews it up & it just makes him a happy wittle wabbit. BUT, I also purchased a rabbit harness. Which is nothing but a vest for a rabbit that you can attach a leash to. (yes, bunnies need walks & exercise too!) Well, the website had 2 sizes. Small & large. The small was listed as being for rats, small guinea pigs...etc. (I am still wondering why anyone would want to take a rat for a walk...that just doesn't make sense to me...) & the large was said to be for rabbits. So, of course, I buy the large. Atticus is way bigger than a rat. & he IS indeed a rabbit. They had 2 color options listed: dark blue, & hunter green. They say to let them pick the color for you. & when the harness comes in, I'm am so excited to let him hop around outside. Well, guess what?? The harness is PINK & LIME GREEN (which was NOT a color option & makes me unhappy cuz he is a BOY bunny) AND it is too big. This harness could fit a laborador puppy...& Atticus is no where near that big. So I am pretty much playing a waiting game right now. Waiting for him to grow, or waiting until I can actually get to a petsmart & buying the thing myself.

Chase may be getting a new job...with equals: We may be moving AGAIN.

So Chase has been looking into this new job, which is back in Chattanooga. (where we basically moved from back in October....) & it's a good job, with better pay than he's getting now. But there are some issues with it that I just can't seem to let my mind forget.

1. If he gets the job, we would have to move back to Chattanooga. Which in itself, doesn't bother me THAT much. I would be closer to my friends & family. But I HATE moving. & we would...once again, be living close to HIS parents. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY do love my in-laws. But they are those types of people who are best loved from a distance. If you're around them too long, they become very irritating. Like sandpaper towels would be....just as an example. Ha ha. But seriously....I do love them to death.

2. Depending on what job position he gets, he would either have to go to training for 6 weeks ( for a regular mechanic position) OOOOR, 6 MONTHS. ( That would be for a managment postition) The 6 week one wouldn't be too bad. He would be home on the weekends, & nothing would REALLY change that much. If he gets the management position (& let's face it, it's better paying & much less stressful) we would have to move where ever they decided to send him to school for the 6 months, & then when he got done, move to where he was ACTUALLY working. & that SUCKS.

3. I'm afraid that all this moving is gonna mess with Brasden. He's been moving from place to place since he was about 1 1/2 years old. Not to mention that he's almost school age & it is very difficult for a younger child to catch up on work in school when they move from one school to another.

I should be happy that he's looking into this great job opportunity. But I just keep thinking about all this stuff. I should be being a supportive, loving partner, encouraging him & cheering him on in his quest to find a job that makes him truely happy. BUT, I'm worried about MOVING. I don't know why it's such a big deal. I mean, the whole thing with it affecting Bray is something to think about. But I should still be thinking positive. This could possibly be a great thing for all of us. And ANOTHER thing I should be thinking about: There is not guarantee that he will get this job. He hasn't even put in an application yet. He has sent his resume, & talked to a few people, but that's as far as it has gotten right now. I could be completely jumping the gun with all these emotions. As a women, though, I am entitled to such insane emotional thoughts. Whether they are irrational or not.

Insomnia....

Well, once again, here I am. It's almost 1 in the morning & I can't sleep. I'm exausted. Absolutely EXAUSTED, & I just cannot get to sleep. I am either to hot or to cold. Chase is taking up to much of the bed, or I'm worried that I'M taking up to much of the bed & he wont get a good night sleep & be really tired at work because of my bed hogging. (Crazy, I know....) So I took a shower, in the hopes that the hot water would make me drowsy, but that didn't work either.

So here I am...sitting on the couch, watching an episode of Dr. G: Medical Examiner that I had recorded on the DVR. I'm probably gonna fix me some Camomile tea & see if that helps. But as always, I probably won't fall asleep until after 2. If I had insurance, I would go to the doctor & see if there's an actual problem, or if this is just where I've gone off my birth control shot. But I can't get insurance right now. (that's a WHOLE other post...ugh)

Maybe I should try buying some Tylenol PM & see if that helps. Though, I am not to keen on Tylenol, it's bad for your liver. & taking it regularly can only worsen those odds of liver failure. MaybeI'm just being paranoid about it though. I mean, tons of things are bad for us, but we continue to use them. Like caffeine, I am completely addicted to it. I wish I wasn't. God knows what it's doing to my insides. Ha ha. Maybe if I cut down on it the insomina will go away. I don't know. Without it I get terrible headaches, so cutting it out completely just isn't an option right now. I do know that sitting here listening to the beginning music of Sleepless in Seattle playing in the background & the steady typing on my laptop isn't helping me fall asleep any faster.(haha....what a time for that movie to come on. With me blogging about BEING sleepless....I just go caught on to the full irony of that.)

At this point, I think that I shall remove myself from this wretched thing called the internet for the night. Maybe breaking it's spell on me for the night will help aid my sleep. I will fix myself some tea, & then head to bed. If all else fails, I have about 400000000 books on my nightstand that will preoccupy me until the sandman finally comes to my town...

Goodnight all. May you all have pleasent dreams.....

Potty Training Stresses....

So, I have been trying to potty train my son for almost 6 months, & have officially gotten NOWHERE!!!!! He will now sit on the potty, but do nothing else. I have tried everything: bribing with stickers, toy balls, m&m candies, & small toys. I even tried the "magic potty trick"; it's where you put some blue food coloring into the toilet water & when he pees it, it turns green...like "magic". Well, that just distracted him & he wouldn't even sit on the potty. UGH! The other day, he came to me & told me he had to pee pee, so I took him to the bathroom & decided that he was gonna sit on the potty until he went. I knew he had to go, he even told me he had to to, so he was gonna sit there until he went!!!

Cut to an hour later....

We've been sitting on the potty the whole time. I've told him 4000000000000 times, "If you pee pee on the potty, you can have the Brobee sticker!!" (Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba that is...one of his favorite shows.) Even offered him one of his Blue's Clues stickers ( Blue's Clues IS his favorite show). Held his hand, read him books, & even got my laptop so he could listen to Elmo's Potty Time songs. & when I had finally had enough, & he just would NOT stay on the potty, I got him down, put some pull ups on him, & then went to finish my dinner.

Cut to about 3 minutes later....(yes....ONLY 3 minutes later...)

He walks into the living room, & he has completely filled his pull-ups!!!!!! He had held it in the entire time we were it the bathroom. Through all my encouragements, bribes, & pleas....he held it the WHOLE TIME. I'm still so stressed & astonished about this, that tears should be streaming down my face.

He's never been a difficult child. He slept through the night fairly early on, stopped taking his pacifier on his own, threw dont the bottle by himself, & even told me when he didn't want to use the high chair anymore. But this whole potty training thing??? I think it will be the death of me. If he is not potty trained by his 4th birthday (at the end of August) then he wont be able to go to preschool. I love being a stay-at-home mommy. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I was so looking forward to him starting school because that's when I start school as well. I never thought I would put college as long as I have. I know I'm not gonna like the experience, & that's why I want to just go ahead & get it over with. And this is why I'm relying on him getting potty trained so much. He will start his school life, & I will start mine.